Uninvited Guests


Now it’s not that I’m afraid of spiders. I’m not. No – really, I’m not. (Honestly, honestly, honestly. Or does that sound like someone protesting too much???. Anyway – I’m really not that frightened of them!) And so what if I were??? Doesn’t half of the world have something of an aversion to six (eight?)-legged hairy arachnids?

Anyway. As I was saying. I’m not particularly an advocate for the cause of spiders nor a bleeding heart spider preservationist, but I would not have counted myself amongst those total arachnophobes who would be unable to sit in the room knowing there was a spider in the corner.

But when two – yes two – giant (nay, tarantula-like) – spiders take over your family room floor over two nights, brazenly playing hide and seek around the furniture, darting between the television and the settee, stopping, staring and looking as if they would eat your feet if they were left on the floor, that’s when I start to question my tranquility, my tolerance of the wildlife sharing my home!

Ok, ok, I know all the superstitions about the bad luck associated with expediting the demise of one of these of God’s creatures. But – does God realize the test he puts us to when he demands this of us?? Or is this just His way of excusing that deeper neurosis which prevents us from going near enough the spider in the first place to dispatch it?

Whichever. I find myself wavering here.

By nature a live-and-let-live type of person and too indolent to be jolted into unnecessary action (idleness exaggerated by the current, restrictive, back pain), I nevertheless start to feel it is perhaps something approaching an affront to have these two buddies gambolling giddily about the room, audaciously relaxed, uninhibited and, indeed, reckless. In front of me. Demanding my attention. Practically shouting ya-boo-sucks at me.

And that’s when I realize I really do have scruples. I’m confused. What should I do? Well – if I threw a shoe at them and managed to hit/stun (or even squash) one or both – wouldn’t I then have the unappealing task of cleaning up the mess?? Am I too squeamish for that?? And – do I have the right to check out the lives of little creatures just because they are invading my space??

Ooohhh. You’re right. My only recourse is to leave them to it. Head back into the dining room. To the laptop. Finish the blog!!! Let every (spider) have his day!! See – a total wimp (again!)

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About xtrekki

OK - I've been doing this for almost a year now and have still not mastered the mysteries of blogging!! WHAT are widgets? What are tags? Where on the dashboard do I find them or an explanation of how I can get them to work for me? In other aspects of my life I am fairly sharp. I could certainly be advisor to Hercule Poirot in unraveling his most impenetrable of cases. So - why oh why can I not figure out how to manage this bloomin' blog???????
This entry was posted in Current affairs, Books, Bookclubs, Grey's Anatomy, Stella, Adventures with friends, Shoes, Food, Wine, Family. And everything in between!!!. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Uninvited Guests

  1. Heck No! The last spider I had was a little perv in my camp shower! It’s daunting enough to use a public shower and then have that creature stare at you from it’s corner ready to pounce! I’ve given up on superstitions and rely on the biggest shoe I can find :O

  2. kileen says:

    Aw the poor little spiders. You should have helped them attain freedom outside. Obviously I’m not as charitable towards mice in the house or frogs in tents. Screeeeammm.

    • scarlettruby says:

      Yes I think Kileen’s right – a couple of incey wincey spiders – think of all the life affirming lessons to be learnt from them. Where would Scotland be if old Robert The hadn’t witnessed the valiant efforts of one particular spider? Perhaps yours were there to illustrate/illuminate some salient information in relation to your current incapacity?
      Like – ‘Hey look at us! See how easy it is to scuttle about if you try?’ Or ‘ You think you’ve got it bad? At least there’s not a great big monster considering squashing you with a shoe!’

  3. xtrekki says:

    I’ve just turned the radio on. ‘Saving Species’ is playing right now. And the first species they’re concerned about?? Yes – you’ve guessed!! Spiders!! Makes me relieved (and sanctimonious) that I just left them to it!!!

  4. xtrekki says:

    Killeen – these monster spiders were not asking to be assisted to the wide open spaces!!! They were intent on taking over the house!! They were trying to (with marked success) intimidate me out of the room. They have now marked their territory! My house is now Their house!! Without my permission. They have staged a coup!

    • kileen says:

      It’s good to see you haven’t lost any sense of perspective about this but have maintained a cool rational response to the incey wincey spiders. Obviously you are the person to have on board in a crisis.

  5. xtrekki says:

    Killeen – you have no idea! I’ve seen tarantulas. These were twice (probably three times) the size!!! (By the way – let’s not forget the frogs!)

  6. xtrekki says:

    Scartlettruby – yes – Killeen is right! Compared with those ginormous spiders, I am positively elfin!!!

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