Parental Choice


So what about young Storm then?? Preceded always by the indefinite article since he/she/it has parents who clearly want the child to flounder through his/her/its early years encumbered by ignorance of the world around and a basic understanding of the social implications of his/her/its gender.

Is there a child protection issue here? Some emotional abuse? Are these parents who withdraw from offering identity to a child, who deny access to cultural norms and isolate the child from normal relationship building?

This is clearly the extension of the experiment started with the unconventional – unisex -naming of their first two boys. That the intention is to carry this throughout the childs’ life, through self-determined home schooling (where the child chooses his/her/its own lessons for the day) appears innovative in the extreme. Or utterly derelict in their duty to the child.

It has been well said that neither of these parents has bothered to change their names to anything which will get them noticed in a crowd. Both parents have had the advantage of a good college education. Both have friends who know them for the gender/identity nature has given them. Neither has had to live the experiment.

Is it utter self-indulgence to deny such security to their children? To require the children to fight their way through life, isolated from the basic norms of socialization?

That a child’s own parents does not afford the fundamental acknowledgement of that child’s gender does not bode well for a future of emotional stability for the child nor of psychological needs being met.

If young Storm, at age three, decides he/she/it wishes to be Fred or Anna to make life easier for him/her/it in the street – will this be easily/unquestionably accommodated? Should Storm decide he/she/it wants to attend state primary school, be an angel in the Christmas Nativity play, join in the school soccer team – will his/her/it’s parents feel that this is where their experiment must end and the child’s wishes need take precedence?

Parenting is certainly a difficult business. Full of anxious and troublesome decisions. But these must be made in the context of the environment and the world which the child is to inhabit. No child deserves to carry the torch alone for the parents’ beliefs. Especially where those beliefs set the child apart from its peers, it’s culture and society.

Such behaviour appears very much like a parent sacrificing the child on the alter of egotistical, self-righteous, social experimentation – neither justification nor acceptable excuse for failing to offer their child the most basic of human needs – a gender identity.

 

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About xtrekki

OK - I've been doing this for almost a year now and have still not mastered the mysteries of blogging!! WHAT are widgets? What are tags? Where on the dashboard do I find them or an explanation of how I can get them to work for me? In other aspects of my life I am fairly sharp. I could certainly be advisor to Hercule Poirot in unraveling his most impenetrable of cases. So - why oh why can I not figure out how to manage this bloomin' blog???????
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One Response to Parental Choice

  1. blackwatertown says:

    They’re sneaky those parents. Just trying to catch us out.
    Have you ever had one of those moments when you look down into the pram or pushchair to compliment the parent and can’t tell if it’s a boy or a girl.
    So you say: “Ah, now. What a cutie.”
    Then you look at the clothing. It’s green or pale yellow. Could go either way. No blue or pink.
    So you say: “Lovely smile/eyes/hair.”
    And you think aha.
    And you ask: “What name did you choose?” (NB: You can’t say, what did you call him/her and certainly not it.) Or maybe: “What name did you come up with in the end?” Or more risky – because they might answer your question as stated and no more: “Did you find it easy to agree on a name?”
    And then the proud parent answers you. And says: “Saoirse.”
    And you think, oh great. It would have to be Saoirse (which means freedom in Irish). You get both boys and girls with the name.
    So you compliment them on their choice, but don’t say: “That’s a lovely name for a… for a….”
    And away you go, none the wiser as to whether it’s a boy or a girl.

    It’s the same with Robin/Robyn – and in America with Sean I believe.
    Och these parents – you couldn’t be up to them at all.

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